Sensual Fantasies in Second Life: The importance for women

by Carey Decuir Have you ever wondered why so many middle-aged women inhabit Second Life? Well, let me ask you this, is it fun to flirt again? Do you enjoy […]

by Carey Decuir

Have you ever wondered why so many middle-aged women inhabit Second Life?

Well, let me ask you this, is it fun to flirt again? Do you enjoy that endorphin-based rush as an intense feeling of sensuality courses through your body? Do you miss reveling in your own feelings of sexuality, unencumbered by the realities and restrictions of Real Life? Yep, those feelings still exist in there, even though they may have been in a dormant, or underutilized, state for a number of years. And you know what? It is kind of fun to relive those feelings, even if it is just for a little while, perhaps a few stolen minutes during the day or evening.

Let’s face it, women are often judged quite harshly and unrealistically in Real Life. Most societies tend to be male dominated and exercise fairly ridged descriptions concerning what makes a woman attractive. And just how many of us ever fit neatly into that model, let along managed to stay there for any length of time? Getting older, while juggling motherhood and a career, can very quickly move you out of that narrowly descriptive window. It really isn’t fair because it certainly doesn’t work that way for men in the Real World.

And of course, there are the realities of being a homemaker. Even in the sanctuary of your home, the pressures and time constraints of raising a family often result in fewer intimacy opportunities with your partner. No time for the afternoon quickie or some good old fondling after dinner while watching a movie. There is no time to linger in bed and have some sensual playtime because the kids need to be fed and shuffled off to, well wherever it is going to be today.

Then there are the issues of power. Men tend to attain more senior positions, make more money and ultimately garner more leverage in defining a woman’s options or position in society. The position of lesser power certainly doesn’t make women feel equal relative to opportunities or self-worth. In an interesting way, this situation actually turns your libido and self-image in terms of femininity into a negative, relative to some aspects of Real Life. What is all that about?

But then one day you were bored and decide to explore Second Life. It is interesting how the playing field levels within this virtual world. First of all, there really is no power structure in Second Life. Oh sure, some sims are designed with male dominate themes, but we always have a choice of where transport into within this virtual world. Aggressive or boring men? Well, they can be muted or we can simply poof out of there with no repercussions. There are plenty of sims created by women that are not about power or position at all. In fact, there are many sims that are about creativity, wonderful adventures and beautiful peaceful settings.

So, getting back to body image, oh what power we have here. We can design our avatar any way we want to. In fact, we can have several avatars and pick one that fits our desire for the day. We can design our fantasy self and hey…. It is our decision what the perfect woman is going to look like. We can play any role and look exactly how we want and then change that look completely the next time we are on-line. Now, one can argue that designing the ultimate sexy female avatar is merely a capitulation to that male driven description discussed earlier. Well, okay, I can see that. But, on the other hand, this is really just a game and if that is the game you want to play today, so be it.

This game provides you with the ability to awaken your own innermost feelings. Maybe you want to explore feelings and fantasies you might have never experienced before. Wow, now that is a serious freedom. So, why not play this game to make yourself feel good? You can think of it as a spoof on the sometimes-ridiculous nature of the Real World if you wish. Or, you might think of it as a way of getting back at the inequalities you have had to live with all your life.

And then there are those occasions when you find a special person in SL, one who offers an interesting opportunity to explore a deeper relationship, one that goes beyond the purely physical. Ah, that brings us back to the heady and very sensual times in the initial stages of a relationship. Times where the desire to know another person is very intense. When you absolutely know your partner is actually listening to you and trying very hard to understand who you are as a person. Someone who is passionate about understanding your needs, your desires and what makes you truly happy? Someone who strives to go out of their way to do or say something that they know will make you smile. The beginnings of a friendship where there is no historical baggage between and you are unencumbered with the mundane aspects of supporting yourself, having a family and building a career.

There are so many ways and opportunities to touch, awaken and explore your feelings of sensuality while engaged in this virtual world. It is really all about the freedom to discover and engage in your personal passions, whatever they may turn out to be. It is about the freedom to develop these passions with no external pressures or judgments that might affect your life or status in society. It is about the freedom to be a sensual being without having to hide or justify it.

Written and Photographed by Carey Decuir.  Additional photography by Coco St. George.

Carey Decuir (Aliya)
Writer & Photographer